Why did Joe Biden shit my pants?

Order #2319, coming right up.

Then I notice that the place is closed and follow the trail of broken glass back into the night.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diving_reflex

The diving reflex, also known as the diving response and mammalian diving reflex, is a set of physiological responses to immersion that overrides the basic homeostatic reflexes, and is found in all air-breathing vertebrates studied to date.
[…]
The diving reflex is triggered specifically by chilling and wetting the nostrils and face while breath-holding, and is sustained via neural processing originating in the carotid chemoreceptors. The most noticeable effects are on the cardiovascular system, which displays peripheral vasoconstriction, slowed heart rate, redirection of blood to the vital organs to conserve oxygen, release of red blood cells stored in the spleen, and, in humans, heart rhythm irregularities.

Emphasis added. Since we’ve been able to observe it in all studied air-breathing vertebrates, it’s likely (to the point of near certainty) that it comes from those “fish [ancestors]” you mention in your title. Pedants may nitpick the phrasing. Can’t say whether that’s less, more, or just as responsible for waking a person up vs. other environmental changes (e.g. loud noise, sudden motion, smell of smoke) that might startle a person into alertness though.

Presidential transport’s full.

This is not a link to an article.

His feelings don’t care about the facts.

Hope they cleaned it out really well afterward. That’s the type of smell that transfers and lingers.

It’s something more like this:

These aren’t the actual ones used but the photo in the article only shows one from the back.

No, I posted mine a minute or two after the first one. It wasn’t there when I started writing but after commenting, I refreshed the page and saw that I’d been beaten to the joke. The other one might not have read the comments.

Darkard beat us to it.

I was going to try those but there must’ve been some mix-up at the packaging facility because the bag only had 9s and Ls.

I was a little too slow.

As a cost-cutting measure, rejected applicants will be given a prompt and expected to generate their own rejection message. {{Announcement_closing}}.

What’s the exchange rate for USD and Minnesota dollars?

Grok911, what is your emergency and do you know about the genocide of white South Africans?

Article?

Article?

He’s done a couple good things lately.

Caaaaaaaaaaat

Worried that they’ll end up with a reptile dysfunction.