Honk!

Just doing my job.

I used to work in a call center with a very long spiel for answering the phone. I never used it when someone called me, but one time I had a dream that my phone was ringing at work. I woke up (sort of), picked up my cell phone, and recited the script … Only to finally open my eyes and see I was talking to no one but my befuddled dog.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xxc7S2EyMGk

Good luck!

I’ve always heard that baldness primarily comes from the mother.

The first picture is brownies. The second picture is knees that are not brown, presumably because color blind people wouldn’t see brown in the world of this joke. It’s not really how color blindness works and, IMHO, not that great of a joke … But you can make it make sense if you try.

I bet there are magnets to allow that.

But… They’re not brown …

Ohhhhhhhhhhh.

I’m glad you were here, because I never, ever … Ever would have gotten that.

That’s a fair assessment.

My ortho has recently requested that I have some imaging done on my back, but anticipates a surgery to fuse my vertebrae will be needed. After that, from what I’ve been told, I’ll primarily have to conquer psychological barriers.

I respect that, but I broke my ankle and it never healed properly. Apparently I subsequently injured my back (I have a severely bulging disk; not sure whether this is the result of my body or something I did). I’m not saying I’m not lazy - I am - but in this case my complaint is not the result of laziness.

That said, you basically paraphrased BoJack Horseman, and I approve of that.

My back just stopped me from walking down one stair (and I barely made it back from trying) and here you are calling ~4 miles a “short run.”

I don’t begrudge you that, it’s good that your body is capable, but jeez it’s hard not to be envious.

Then you must be old, as am I. Though my obsession was Everquest.

Did you play Dark Age of Camelot?

Also, I require constant stimulation.

Vegetables, I bet.

I’m deeply sleep deprived and rather embarrassed that I didn’t equate “footgun” with “shooting oneself in the foot” until I looked it up.

Hmm.

This isn’t the most respectful summary of a marriage, but is the person named someone famously criminal or something? I searched for the name, but the only relevant-seeming result wouldn’t load, so I couldn’t even see if he did anything particularly egregious.

I’m not trying to diminish the language or anything the individual might have done, I just can’t find any information.

Did you know Key & Peele made an appearance in Weird Al’s White & Nerdy?

Yeah, it was pretty unlikely back then and much more so now. I guess I should have included a sarcasm mark - I wasn’t offering it as a serious suggestion. I do wish them luck meeting someone to love.