Midnight Wolf

needs to get exploited to cover bills

let’s have a baby :D

while I am moderately humored by the initial gesture, you and your partner are idiots, CJ

😳 Hiii

Geeky femboys 🥺👉👈

This is the artistic vision of the gta3 school bus that you see in wrecking yards, that got reduced to just a rusty version instead (and no drivable version) because it was acceptable at the time to shoot people’s limbs off and have blood shoot out as they collapsed and died, or to fuck a hooker for extra health and then run her over to retrieve the money you just paid, but violence with children? Slow down there buddy, let’s ease into this kinda stuff with some hot coffee first.

…I dare you to give it a taste test

‘wow, tomatoes are a real thing!’ :p

Have they tried turning it off and on again?

Hollywood doesn’t want you to know this one weird trick

Money. Not gift cards, not ‘you’ll take me out for a fancy lunch’, not ‘I’ll buy you something off your Amazon wishlist’. Money. Cold, physical currency.

Why? Parents and relatives are denser than a concrete bomb shelter. I don’t want furniture, I don’t want games, I don’t want gift certificates. If I want something, I’ll buy it myself. And for my ‘splurge’ list, you know what, sure mom. I want an XL David from Bad Dragon, in natural colors, and in a soft+medium firmness. And, because I want to feel like I am being spitroasted, a small Flint, in natural, and soft. I do need to work on my gag reflex. Oh, you’ll just give me cash? Okay then. Don’t open any package addressed to me, mmkay?

It’s when they start scanning coupons that you don’t know about that they have the hots for you. Fifty cents off toothpaste? 😳🥵

I do love literal wording like this. Cheesecake also comes to mind, just slap some Monterey Jack onto my birthday cake, thanks.

The one that does the stuff

😳🥺

Same, I was very confused lol

Lisinopril 5mg

Ah, is that all you’ve got? Round these parts if your combined dosage is less than 80mg, you can’t join the club. Thems the rules, sorry.

Now that seems unfair. So you get docked if the power grid goes down? Jeez…

Your teacher was a ghost

Not my particular kink, but as long as you are having fun 😳

🐺

Stress.