I think it’s better to frame it as the submissive role attracts a certain type of insecure person, some of whom are well into the personality disorder or abusive range, and whose abusive tendencies can be less easy to see.
There are dominant equivalents, but it’s very much the narcissism to the submissive borderline. Those dominants refuse to take no for an answer and punish it not through fear of hurting them or of being seen as the villain, but instead with fear of being a bad sub or fear of disappointing them. Both make you fear their anger.
And the other big difference is the community has long been talking about abusive dominants, whereas we’re still in the process of starting the conversation about abusive submissives. Partly due to preconceived bias, but also partly due to severity of damage. Abusive subs are more likely to only really traumatize you, while abusive doms can enter into grievous bodily harm. It’s also that dominant style abuse is more visible at events. We’re starting to see consent conversions and warnings about abusive partners specifically talk about this though.
punish … instead with fear of being a bad sub or fear of disappointing them.
Just to clarify, that’s abusive doms?
Whereas abusive subs are the ones who influence their doms with
fear of hurting them or of being seen as the villain, ?
If you don’t mind the question, why would a dom fear the anger of a sub? isn’t there always suppressed anger if the sub is forced to act against their will? If they want everything they have to do I would call that caring and animating but not dominating.
Thanks for sharing. Sounds like the submissive role had a twist. I think there is no shame in feeling compelled to help.
I think it’s better to frame it as the submissive role attracts a certain type of insecure person, some of whom are well into the personality disorder or abusive range, and whose abusive tendencies can be less easy to see.
There are dominant equivalents, but it’s very much the narcissism to the submissive borderline. Those dominants refuse to take no for an answer and punish it not through fear of hurting them or of being seen as the villain, but instead with fear of being a bad sub or fear of disappointing them. Both make you fear their anger.
And the other big difference is the community has long been talking about abusive dominants, whereas we’re still in the process of starting the conversation about abusive submissives. Partly due to preconceived bias, but also partly due to severity of damage. Abusive subs are more likely to only really traumatize you, while abusive doms can enter into grievous bodily harm. It’s also that dominant style abuse is more visible at events. We’re starting to see consent conversions and warnings about abusive partners specifically talk about this though.
Just to clarify, that’s abusive doms?
Whereas abusive subs are the ones who influence their doms with
If you don’t mind the question, why would a dom fear the anger of a sub? isn’t there always suppressed anger if the sub is forced to act against their will? If they want everything they have to do I would call that caring and animating but not dominating.