• Azzu@lemm.ee
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    15 days ago

    You can change your (psychological) reaction to everything. All psychological suffering is chosen by yourself and can be stopped if you choose not to suffer.

    Of course this is simple, not easy. Almost no one can do it.

    Most people I meet don’t believe this and hate that I’m saying this.

    • Sonotsugipaa@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      15 days ago

      You should elaborate a bit, I can get two possible interpretations of this - one which I agree should be a more popular opinion, and one which I believe is nonsense and should be made fun of.

      • Azzu@lemm.ee
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        15 days ago

        If someone betrays you - you can either be upset at this, feel terrible for a long time

        Or you can be thankful for them showing their true colors, thankful for the opportunity to enhance your people-reading skills, i.e. learn how to prevent this better (or identify that it simply happens sometimes, even with good prevention skills), perform the correct consequences (i.e. cutting them out of your life, minimizing your dependence on them), and then move on with the new state of life.

        I’m not saying one won’t feel bad at first - but there’s no reason to continue with that past the initial automatic reaction, how fast you can “move on” depends on how good you are at this. After handling the situation properly, there’s no reason to continue to feel bad, feeling bad about it is just a motivator to do something about it, if there’s nothing to do anymore, there’s no reason to feel bad anymore.

        You can extend the same line of thinking to literally anything - you get fired from your job, you go hungry, you suffer some debilitating injury/sickness, you get put in a concentration camp due to be executed (“Man’s search for meaning” is an example of this).

        Which interpretation is this, and what is the other one?

        • Donald Musk@lemmy.today
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          15 days ago

          Yep great examples. And I see a LOT of Lemmy posters just unable to accept any of this. So much doomscrolling and choosing to be pissed/unhappy about every little thing.

    • Donald Musk@lemmy.today
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      15 days ago

      100 percent true. But I disagree that almost no one can do it. I think lots of successful people do it. I mean, the ones who went through a LOT of failure before they reached success.

      I personally have done it in my life regarding a few things. Stoicism is a great resources for doing this, in my opinion anyway.

      Basically you can’t always control shit that happens to you, but you CAN learn to control how you react to it.