• 9 Posts
  • 38 Comments
Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: July 19th, 2023

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  • Wish I had dodged it, but a general piece of advice for everyone is familiarize yourself well with what a narcissist is, covert, overt, whatever kind, and if you are in a relationship and someone is making you question yourself, telling you something never happened or that you’re too sensitive or crazy or whatever or trying to isolate you or tell you that you shouldn’t talk about your relationship problems to other people, GTFO. Always have some fuck off money saved and a go bag packed. Learn what grey rocking is until you get someplace safe. They don’t change, they don’t have insight, but they’ll lie their way into convincing you it’s all you and what you’ve done. They’re actually incredibly dangerous.

    And if someone is pushing you to try polyamory and you don’t want to, you’re just heading for a split anyway and they are going to cheat anyway. This didn’t happen to me but it’s such a red flag. If you are both into it, you do you, but it’s never a good sign if someone is trying to force you into it.

    Finally, don’t ever lose control over your finances. This was a big mistake I’ve made and I’m paying for it. A favourite trick of my narcissist SO was to take my credit card and buy himself a bunch of stuff to upset me when he felt like I wasn’t “engaged in the relationship”, which meant I was depressed and withdrawn because of the hell he was putting me through.


  • There is a branch of medicine called functional neurology, where people get symptoms that present like seizures, tremors, or even paraplegia, but they have no physical cause, they’re usually a sign of pretty difficult trauma history. It’s honestly awful and I feel so bad for them, you end up in ER thinking you have epilepsy and some ignorant ER doctor treats you like you’re malingering but you absolutely are not, the symptoms are very real and compelling, and sometimes you can’t tell if it’s epileptic or not and it requires a lot of testing. Some people have both epileptic and nonepileptic seizures. It’s really tough and there’s very little treatment available. They are not harmful to you physically at all, but they’re quite distressing and I feel terrible for people who have them.





  • My (kind of) ex has ED from diabetes, and OP you may want to be checked for that as vasculopathy is a side effect. He just got a vacuum pump and ring system. It’s a little awkward the first few times but after that you just get used to it. We don’t engage anymore, but a couple of years ago went to a resort on vacation, and you have to declare all medical devices at customs in your carryon and that was included. That was funny to hear. But honestly it worked just fine and it was really no big deal after the first time or two. Being honest with your partner is important, and this is fairly straightforward once you get the hang of it. Other treatments are cavernoma injections (needle in the peener when you want to have sex), or trying Viagra or whatever which is wildly expensive and doesn’t work for everyone. A vacuum pump and rings is reusable and reliable.

    My coworker’s boyfriend has premature ejaculation and is embarrassed by it so they just don’t have sex, and really it’s dumb.


  • I’ve had so many pest problems in this apartment we last moved to. Ants, cockroaches, mice and bedbugs. Bedbugs are psychologically damaging, thankfully it was successfully treated because I hired someone to heat treat rather than relying on the shitass landlord who just sprayed. I implore all of you to get bedbug proof mattress covers and interceptor cups for the legs of your bed. It’s about 100 bucks and it’ll save you a world of pain. They can happen to anyone and it’s so traumatic.

    I still have the damn ants to some degree. I’ve done everything I can and they won’t fully go away. It’s maddening.