Mister Neon

I’m tired of living through “interesting times”.

I wanted to be an archeologist.

Not only did I fail at my dreams I gave them up for the lie of “job security”.

If I cared about karma I would be on Reddit instead of here.

I’m sorry for that. I don’t take solace in the mutual suffering of others. I hope things improve for at least one of us.

I’m worried about suffering during the next few decades. I’ve been laid off so many times and have so many bouts of unemployment that my savings are stunted. I started putting away 25% of my paychecks into 401K and an IRA. Then DOGE cut the funding to my department.

I’m hitting 40 this year and I feel old. I feel really really old. I feel old and scared to the point of despair. The first 40 years I’ve had on Earth has been mostly miserable and if I get another 40 years it’s looking bleak.

I feel old.

You’re talking about that VTuber ain’t ya?

While that is a nice fantasy I am unfortunately spending the grand majority of my time daily filling out job applications and watching coding tutorials at 2x speed.

Unless I receive a grant or some sort of income I can live off of up front I don’t have the luxury to do a passion project at this time.

A podcast about the pre-columbian Americas which in all honesty would be a Hardcore History knockoff.

Last month I was buying healthy groceries and purchasing modestly priced stupid shit. Last month I was a government contractor with the federal government.

Now I haven’t gotten groceries in three weeks. I’m eating peanuts for every meal or if I’m feeling fancy a can of garbanzo beans. I would love to purchase stupid shit again, but that only makes me happy so it’s easy to cut out for the sake of survival.

This is my third economic crisis and in my field there are even less jobs than when Covid shut everything down.

Trump, Musk, Tiel, and Navarro have removed me from the economy.

World domination?

I’m going to tell you an answer you don’t want to hear and is completely serious. You should stop caring about this and walk away. Nobody is going to care about a Steam forum ban from years ago. This will never show up during background checks, won’t hurt you financially, and isn’t a measurement of your character as a human. The only people who would care would be the typical internet freaks which if you’re interacting or communicating with such people you’ve already messed up. The interactions you had with the creator sound parasocial in nature so it’s not like he’s going to remember you (specifically your Steam name). While I understand that this is a community and pursuing passions is commendable at the end of the day the Steam Forums are there to support the facilitation of selling video games not the enrichment of the human experience.

You need to take a moment and realize you care too much about a Five Nights at Freddy’s forum.

Tied: Neon Pink & Tiger Orange.

I basically live in an M. C. Escher painting so I just go walk outside which no matter where I go it’s uphill both ways.

I won’t go into specifics for my own privacy but I was a government contractor for the United States federal government. DOGE is apparently responsible for my department losing funding.

While you are correct that the “foreigner god” isn’t directly responsible, but that’s due to the fact that the conservatives (or just the ruling class in general) didn’t drape themselves in Christianity they would pick up whatever is most convenient.

The reason I use the term “foreigner god” is because I don’t like any religions except for those of the aboriginals of the Americas. I’m a Mesoamerican history fanboy and from my perspective nothing good came from the Old World discovering the New World. Christ is a foreigner and so am I, both alien in nature on soil that would have been better off without us.

I was laid off from my job on Friday. There’s nothing to celebrate and those who call themselves “Christians Leaders” are directly responsible for my unemployment. I despise the foreigner god with all my heart.

Sad Isolated Loud

Scared and gutted.