Sasha [They/Them]

Thanks, I appreciate that a lot ❤️

I’m going through some really awful stuff at the moment, and it’s hard to feel proud of anything when I absolutely despise myself, but these are things I managed to convince myself are okay:

• Surviving this. I’m working very hard to get better, I have lots of regrets and getting better isn’t for the reason I want it to be, but I will succeed
• I helped start a transgender solidarity network, our first rally was the proudest moment of my life
• That time I tried to stop a coal ship from leaving port (it didn’t work but it did do a lot of other important things for the rest of the protest)
• I make a really mean creamed cauliflower and I always feel super proud when I get to make it and hear all these strangers say how good it is (it’s the easiest dish in the world, people are just addicted to salt)

OP You should watch (or read if you like manga) Fire Force. The hook is that people randomly catch fire and society kinda has to deal with it, it’s a fun show.

And yeah it’s cooler than funerals, the Fire Force brings along nuns to pray for the person when they need to put them out.

I’m just being silly, but I mean that if everything can be represented as a matrix then there’s a point of view where things like complex numbers are just “names” of specific matrices and the rules that apply to those “names” are just derived from the relevant matrix operations.

Essentially I’m saying that the normal form is an abstract short hand notation of the matrix representation. The matrices are of course significantly harder and more confusing to work with, but in some cases the richness of that structure is very beautiful and insightful.

(I’m particularly in love with the fact one can derive spinors and their transforms purely from the spacetime/Lorentz transforms. It’s a really satisfying exercise and it’s some beautiful algebra/group theory.)

Matrix representations in general, if that counts?

Complex numbers, polynomials, the derivative operator, spinors etc. they’re all matrices. Numbers are just shorthand labels for certain classes of matrices, fight me.

If you suck at interviews cheat, or get lucky.

I flunked the interview for the job I wanted, did well in an interview for a different position at the same company, new boss loved me and I have no clue why. She got fired the weekend before I started and I got moved into an even better job than I’d originally wanted.

For my only other interview ever, I got in because I literally just googled answers to the coding test on my phone just out of view of the camera, not that they were watching anyway. I’m glad I did too, that company was an unethical hell hole and it’s tragic that it hasn’t folded. I left after a couple of months and got abother job with the company from the first paragraph, no interview at all, and significantly better pay (more than double lol).

I seriously have no clue how people get jobs the normal way. I’ve tried, I’ve been trying for years and can’t get another interview.

Not in the US but my perspective on this whole thing is very mixed. Obviously I’m terrified of the rise of fascism and the exterminatory rhetoric that’s now so common when trans people are mentioned in politics. I’m terrified for a number of my friends, and I can’t help them, I can’t keep them safe and I can’t get them out.

For now I’m focusing my efforts locally, we’ve largely been able to keep that sort of thing out of Australia and have had some incredible support outside of the queer community at rallies and a recent counter protest against some terfs. I think we’ll be okay, we might even make some progress down here, very exciting and it’s keeping me going despite everything else.

I’m not holding up well, but I am still standing. I really hope things turn around in the US and UK soon, my heart goes out to you all. I’d say stay strong, but honestly that’s not on you, just stay alive, it’s okay to not fight.

I kinda live by the whole “solidarity not charity” thing. I’ll chuck whatever I can spare towards mutual aid requests, and do some community building stuff so that we can all work towards meeting our needs collectively.

I’m not particularly against charities, though I know a lot of the people in my circles can give pretty extensive criticisms, for me they just don’t address the issues that are most prominent and urgent; the aid requests I see are often when people are in very immediate danger and there are an enormous number of them.