SourDragon

But it isn’t private though?

Gonna start a conversation with my spouse with “you didn’t hear a word I just said, did you?” when I didn’t actually say anything before that

I get the feeling Dolly would like these jokes

Arm only the children!

“Hold my beer. YEET!”

This was a lot funnier if you were there and witnessed what he did. Written language can’t do it any justice. Just imagine the most badass thing a human can do, then imagine if he had a fist-sized rock in each hand while he did it, then imagine him tripping over his tunic right before the final flip.

So this is how I had to find out it was cancer‽

Yeah. It’s much classier to shit one’s pants in the backseat of a total stranger’s car. 💩👖

Translation: “Some humans have negative iq”

Dude was his plug

Buckled on jazz cabbage

That’s me rn. Not figuratively either, but literally. And no, I will not be providing any proof of this. Just take my word for it.

YOINK

Oh thank the gods! I last played the Sims 4 as a best-selling author. Before that was Kills-your-ass, my argonian assassin from Skyrim, who’s quirk is she can’t help but pick fights with giants, so she died a lot.

Professor Oak after a 10yo boy won 8 badges, defeated the elite four, and became champion of the Kanto region:

The audacity!

UPS delivered

Superman gets more based by the day

Don’t you love how not only is everything so expensive, but they’re also all worse quality 😁

Na. That happens in the bedroom

Edit: why do folks hate innocent questions?

I mean, that’s how I eat chips. Just vore the whole bag. Doesn’t everyone?