I have a few.
Camera shuttering sounds. I don’t need to hear your camera, dude. Yeah I know most porn is produced and exploited but, don’t need to hit it home doing this. Here is what I don’t get, why not use inexpensive drone cameras to take footage or take shots? Who the fuck needs stupid people doing it?
Cameramen muffled or hearing. I don’t need to hear you either. I don’t give a fuck if you’re enjoying it, just shut the hell up.
Sped-up previews or even sped-up videos because reasons? It just takes me out of the immersion, if there were any to be had.
Exaggerated sounds and moans. “UNNHHH!” “AHHH!!” “HNNN!” “OOOOOO!” slrshrlshlp splsplslspl moist sounds Just fucking mute it. Don’t watch porn for audio.
Seeing that guy in a scene. You know, that awkward fucking guy who is part of the scene who just idly stands there just jerking off all like “nhhn yeah hrrr yeah oh so into this” I want a series of porn videos, where it is just beating that guy down.
How they all seem to end with the guy jerking himself off onto the girl’s face while she just sits there.
I am not here to watch you jerk yourself off, dude. If you just have to cum on her face for whatever reason, at least let her be the one to make it happen.
I vaguely remember a standup comic from maybe 25 years ago who had a joke about being at a gas station, and suspecting the attendant was moonlighting as a porn star. Just before the fuel tank was done filling, the attendant pulled out the nozzle and sprayed it all over the car’s hood and windshield.
For that matter, the focus on the penis. If the primary focus of a shot is the dick and not the woman, then it’s cock porn. I’m not here for cock worship, man.