Find community with antifascists and feminists. Reject the patriarchy and do the work to tear it down. I’m a white guy, or at least close enough for appearances, but I don’t let it hold me back.
It’s the guys who just try to passively absorb all the benefits of patriarchy without doing the labor to dismantle it who I suspect will be judged retroactively.
That’s the problem I’m trying, likely failing, to communicate/point out though. All other things being equal those groups and types of people tend to be less receptive to my opinions and perspectives on things just because of what I am even when they have known me for a while. I have experienced on more than one occasion someone getting upset with me for pointing something out where when someone else who wasn’t a white dude said almost the exact same thing verbatim they accepted it without an issue.
People are people and dumb tribalism and prejudice is present in almost every space and I am also hardwired to detect it and call it out when I see it. Keeping quiet about it and just watching it happen makes me very agitated and takes a lot of mental energy to keep in check. So take that in combination with the above and well…
I’m tired boss. Not tired of fighting for others’ right to exist, I’ll do that every day. I’m just tired of fighting for my own.
Maybe that’s not a place for your opinions to be given prominence? Maybe it’s okay to follow thems and femmes into a community before asserting your perspective.
I know that’s probably what you’re trying to do, and I know it can be difficult even when you’re trying your best. I try to remember that a lot of the people who I want to accept me have struggled to find acceptance in patriarchal heteronormativity, often with even more difficultly than I have faced.
I guess all I’m really trying to say is that righteous resentment can be misread as tribalism, but it you really dig into the subject I you’ll find we’re all in this together.
So we are literally back to the beginning. I have no where I can go to be myself. No where that is accepting of who I am.
I understand what you are saying, but I have a hard time with the hypocrisy of someone preaching acceptance while actively judging me because of what I am rather than trying to understand me despite doing everything I can to communicate, connect and understand.
Find community with antifascists and feminists. Reject the patriarchy and do the work to tear it down. I’m a white guy, or at least close enough for appearances, but I don’t let it hold me back.
It’s the guys who just try to passively absorb all the benefits of patriarchy without doing the labor to dismantle it who I suspect will be judged retroactively.
That’s the problem I’m trying, likely failing, to communicate/point out though. All other things being equal those groups and types of people tend to be less receptive to my opinions and perspectives on things just because of what I am even when they have known me for a while. I have experienced on more than one occasion someone getting upset with me for pointing something out where when someone else who wasn’t a white dude said almost the exact same thing verbatim they accepted it without an issue.
People are people and dumb tribalism and prejudice is present in almost every space and I am also hardwired to detect it and call it out when I see it. Keeping quiet about it and just watching it happen makes me very agitated and takes a lot of mental energy to keep in check. So take that in combination with the above and well…
I’m tired boss. Not tired of fighting for others’ right to exist, I’ll do that every day. I’m just tired of fighting for my own.
Maybe that’s not a place for your opinions to be given prominence? Maybe it’s okay to follow thems and femmes into a community before asserting your perspective.
I know that’s probably what you’re trying to do, and I know it can be difficult even when you’re trying your best. I try to remember that a lot of the people who I want to accept me have struggled to find acceptance in patriarchal heteronormativity, often with even more difficultly than I have faced.
I guess all I’m really trying to say is that righteous resentment can be misread as tribalism, but it you really dig into the subject I you’ll find we’re all in this together.
So we are literally back to the beginning. I have no where I can go to be myself. No where that is accepting of who I am.
I understand what you are saying, but I have a hard time with the hypocrisy of someone preaching acceptance while actively judging me because of what I am rather than trying to understand me despite doing everything I can to communicate, connect and understand.