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My female colleague told me the other day I’d make a great dad because my tattoos are all black and white and that would be great for kids because they could color them.
“Whoever did your circumcision did a really good job.” :/
I need more context 😭
As I was sitting at my desk with some tea and a stroopwaffel, one of my coworkers commented that I “really knew how to live.”
“You have the most beautiful intestines!” And several other similar things as I was checked for cancer.
It’s like the saying goes: true beauty is on the inside.
there was a comment thread where there was something along the lines of “when my roommate peed you could HEAR how his urethra was wider than a normal person” and I don’t know how to feel about it
This is disturbing
I’ve had several people throughout my life tell me they like my earlobes. Had a friend as a kid, and her adoptive dad was obsessed with them. He was a very quirky and funny person, it was never creepy but still weird.
I don’t know how weird it is but I’ve been told a few times that I have a “calming presence”. It’s a very nice compliment, just don’t understand why or how.
This is sometimes what happens when someone grows up around someone who is volatile or unpredictable.
Natural adaptation.
Could that be why?
Oh. Well that tracks, yeah.
I’m in this picture and I don’t like it
Just last week, someone left a note for me saying I’m a “goddess among mortals” for making a carrot cake without raisins.
I’m an overweight 40-year-old man with a beard. She hadn’t seen who made the cake, so she was just making a guess that the baker was a woman, but still. Funny experience.
Who the fuck puts raisins in a carrot cake?
I have honestly never experienced an abomination. Not that there is anything wrong with raisins, but in carrot cake?Raisins in cinnamon rolls is the true crime
The recipe I used actually suggested raisins in the cake and walnuts in the frosting. While I don’t mind either on their own or in other things, carrot cake is supposed to be creamy and smooth. If I wanted crunch or chew, I’d choose…I dunno, german chocolate or something.
This is standard in US-style carrot cakes
Embrace the joy, Goddess.
She is correct. You are absolutely divine for excluding raisins, you radiant goddess, you!
Oh shit, you are a goddess among mortals! Carrot cake is one of my all time favorites so I keep trying it despite being disappointed every time that someone put raisins in it. It’s just mean.
I’m 38, male, chubby, can’t grow a beard for shit.
Raisins are wank. You’re “a goddess among mortals”.
She’s right. Cooked raisins are an abomination. You’re a hero.
raisins are an abomination
Several nurses have commented on my veins. Like to the point where I felt like I was getting hit on.
they just do that sometimes, it’s normal
source: dad was a nurse
Irish people ask me what part of Ireland I’m from. I must do an amazing Irish accent despite being Scottish and have never visited there. I blame the fact that central Edinburgh doesn’t have a strong Scottish accent and lots of Londoners/Americans study here.
“You eat rice like Chinese person”
From the lady behind the counter as I was watching some bullshit on my phone and eating mapo tofu
I keep meaning to make sticky rice at some point. I also tend to eat rice with chopsticks at Chinese restaurants, but anywhere else the rice is too loose
I’m not even sure what that could mean. Maybe using chopsticks instead of a fork? I’ve always just eaten food with whatever utensil is typically used for that type of cuisine. I think most people, Chinese or otherwise, eat Chinese food with chopsticks, don’t they?
I think it was that I had picked up the takeout container close to my face and was using the chopsticks to shovel rice into my maw as I watched some video.
That’s just how you eat rice with chopsticks? How else are you supposed to do it without making a giant mess?
Western folks don’t usually hold the bowl and utensils so close to the face
Based on the post context it probably came across either as a backhanded or possibly with a racist sounding context. Like a woman being told she can use a wrench like a man comes across as sexist.
A ton of people in the US eat nearly every type of food with a fork, spoon, or knife. I have to go out of my way to ask for chopsticks most of the time, and most of the people I see eating at other tables are using forks.
“If your humor was a person I would fuck it”
you did get laid that night, right?
“I’m the vessel, fuck me. It’s as close as it gets.”
An ultrasound tech once told me that I have a cute spleen.
Nothing looks cute on an ultrasound. Humans are hardwired to see babies as cute, and even they don’t look cute on an ultrasound.
So they gotta have one hell of a cutie spleen
One complimented my bladder, so I guess that spleen seems mighty good about now
That I have a nice phone number.
I have an evil one. It ends 666 👿
My old work number used to have a 404 area code. I work in tech. It was a fun inside joke.
0666 here
Now kiss.
First girl I ever kissed complimented me on my nice looking hands at the teenybopper bar. Weird at the time, took me a couple of decades to realize women look at our hands, think of us touching them.
