My wife once walked in and asked why I don’t rest it on the seat. I need that to not be a habit.
Because taking a shit is like telling your penis to fire at will.
I know this seems like a great idea, but actually it would create an open wound which could get infected by the very contamination that prompted this. So while it may be counterintuitive, you actually should not violently dismember a part of your body that has touched something yucky.
Go to a hospital and have them remove it surgically instead.
while it may be counterintuitive, you actually should not violently dismember a part of your body

this is your suborvidor and dismemberings covered under company insurance
Lose weight and paid time off? WOOHOO!
Hmm a DIY version is preferable, you won’t be in a situation to visit a hospital each time you want a body part removed. What if you’re the middle of something else and can’t find time for proper surgery.
You think that’s bad. Us older fellers, well, let’s just say if I’m not careful, My nuts may accidentally learn how cold the water is.
Don’t worry, the other people before you have also touched the seat with their tips, it’s absolutely normal!
Wow, have you ever felt less alone but also less assured
I guess having a small dick is useful in some way.
I hate winter, the toilet water becomes too cold for my penis
That’s a self-solving problem if I’ve ever heard one
It’s like one of those drinking bird toys.
i would not want to fall asleep on the shitter at midnight in winter in someplace that actually has winter. you remember those naps you’d take leaning on your arm, then you’d lose your balance and wake up a little, then start to drift off again…
first off, the repetetive shrieks of "OH MY DANGLE MY FREEZING FREEZING DANGLE’ would keep the neighborhood awake. like clockwork.
Good to be a grower!
Or it dangles and touches the inside of the bowl
Or the tip touches the toilet water
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Free bottom surgery 👀
[Bointing intensifies]
I may be fucking weird, but I dont sit. In the 40+ years I have never sat on a public toilet seat and never plan to. If it comes to me having to go that bad, which it has, I will hover over it. No way am I ever touching a public toilet.
The higher you hover, the taller the splash.
I was just like you for the first 30 years of my life, and then I realized that all I gotta do is wet two paper towels, put soap on one of them, and use them to clean the seat before I sit down. That small realization completely changed my life for the better, and now I no longer have to wait until I get home to poop.
(That said, 30 years of holding in your shit has consequences. It takes me from 20 minutes up to an hour to poop before I can get it all out. Needless to say, this had caused issues for me in the workplace. Yes I’ve already started adding fiber to my diet. And before you ask: no I don’t flush the towels. I toss them in the trash can then head back to the stall to do my business.)
Huh, interesting. I have the same problem but mine started after a stroke. If I have to schedule something in the morning that has me setting an alarm, I need to be up two hours before I head out, to have a hour buffer in the bathroom, then shower, get dressed, brush my teeth, get my stuff and go. I’m also adding fiber and while that helps a bit, it’s not very much. I’ve been to a gastro and ‘there’s nothing wrong with you’ so yaaaaay…
Idk why, to me this doesn’t sound better haha. Plus I won’t hold it all day either. For the most part my body knows mornings and night and stays that way unless I ate something that didnt sit right. If I gotta go I gotta go ultimately. For how infrequent I do it I honestly don’t mind the hover at all. I don’t really see the big difference.
Good thinking. You never know who might have been doing cocaine off of those things







