Divorced man, mid-forties, job pays well but not great, tried to get into old interests to stave off depression but collecting action figures didn’t do it and he couldn’t remember how to play the ukulele, which is like the one thing that made him interesting in high school. So, he turned to those early college years when he and his friends, whom he hasn’t talked to in ages, would stay up all night smashing Jägermeister and having heady though naive conversations about the world and how things ought to be. Night after night he sat on his balcony, looking at a world that would be better if only it listened to him, ignoring his broken instrument, smashed in frustration, and occasionally espousing his philosophy 101 understanding of nihilism to his last remaining friend, the Batman, until one late night, after finishing a nice piss, the pain became too great and, in a drunken stupor, he slowly allowed himself to fall over the balcony into the sweet release of death. He left behind only unanswered emails and texts from his worried adult children. A pitiful end to a pitiful life so completely devoid of significance that the character doesn’t even warrant a name.
Also a Star Wars fan. The bottles on the right are the Millinium Falcon.
New copy-pasta arrives.
I would be honored.
Jesus Christ
This is art, but for the lack of mention of the piss spot on the far right. My guess is that he gave up on all decorum or hope for the future and started pissing almost over the side of the balcony. Then as he leaned over to see his last attempt to create something meaningful splash on the pavement below he looked a bit too far. It was not a planned act of finality, yet in that moment of weightlessness his last, fleeting thought was, “Probably for the best…”
Yes but neither of you mentioned the piss spot on the balcony above. This is not our nameless hero’s piss but the piss of his upstairs neighbor. He came out to his balcony and noticed a miraculous stream, sticking his head out too far to determine the source. His final thought was “What a beautiful day for rain”
Fair. I missed the anteceding piss headwater. It pains me to think our antihero died perhaps with a full bladder.
You ok, bro?
Yep. Thanks for checking.
Lol, none of us are.
I heard that in Kim Katsuragi’s voice
“You seem to be following me”
Username doesn’t match…
Let’s rename him Bard_with_Superior_Deductive_Reasoning_Skills
Superiocre_bard
That made me think of Jethro Tull - Aqualung
That was dope. Thank you for sharing that!
I knew this guy :/
a bunch of uke chords are 1 or 2 fingers, and due to the short finger board you can easily reach 6-8 frets in a single grip. It’s easy to get into.
It’s just not the same as it was, bro.
if only someone stopped him from falling over…
Star Wars fan. Bottles on the right are the Millinium Falcon.
Alcoholism.
Batman with a kitbashed symbiote Spider-Man head
Is that the Millennium Falcon?
Oh feck yeah I see it too…
Cockpit is on the wrong side, but I’m not sure I’d be able to tell after a bottle of Jäger either.
That I need to get my shit off my balcony and figure out who’s the asshole taking pictures of my apartment without my consent.
We dont need your consent, its a free country and visible to anybody
Found’em
nope, just look at their username
Found 'em.
Nah ,try again
It’s very clear that we’re looking at the universe where Deadpool is a chair. Not many other people could drink that much hard liquor and survive, and the ukulele and Batman figurine track
It’s not too cold there
Not with all that Jägermeister
They probably sit out there in shorts.
Sadness.
Tiny Batman is not taking the divorce well. At first he thought losing the tiny mansion and being forced to downsize from Twayne Manor (Tiny Wayne Manor) out in the burbs to this high-rise apartment would put him closer to the action downtown. A refreshing life change after all that’s happened.
However, his neighbors yell at each other all day long while he’s trying to sleep, and seem to have even more sensitive hearing than him during the nighttime quiet periods. He can’t rush out the door because every slam or even loud footfalls seems to trigger a call to building management. He’s even gotten calls about his scanner radio being too loud, no matter how softly he plays it.
Most nights he just sits on the balcony, quietly listening to the scanner and drinking. Anti-suicide netting makes it impossible to just glide down to street level with his bat wings and the elevator takes so long that by the time he gets to the Tiny Bat Mobile, most vics are dead and the perps are long gone. More and more, he just turns the radio off, drinks until he staggers over to his pee spot, and then stumbles over to fall asleep with his back against a stack of bottles - he knows they’ll keep him safe from the memories that are trying to sneak up on him.Can’t even see the tiny bat signal from most angles, so he thinks nobody needs him
They don’t have a local recycling programme.
- they like jagermeister above all else
- Their apartment is likely messy, (they’re hoarding bottles instead of taking them to the recycling, implying not a hoarder but lack of motivation)
- They play music
- Their last play session didn’t go very good, as the guitar is broken.
That was so deep
They also had to pee too badly to make it inside.
Pain
I like the lil batman puppet.
Who do you think drank all of that. Seems to be the only one on the deck from what I can see.
Liver failure.
Liver success! I’m so proud.
