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InterestingUsername@lemmy.ml to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.worldEnglish · 3 个月前

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InterestingUsername@lemmy.ml to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.worldEnglish · 3 个月前
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  • SwingingTheLamp@piefed.zip
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    3 个月前

    Where I live, nudity is not by itself considered indecent, so this would not be true.

    So, be sure to rub one out during the crime.

    • pulsey@feddit.org
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      3 个月前

      they called him the rubbing robber

      • Bratosch@lemmy.world
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        3 个月前

        Nananananananana BEATMAN

    • Kairos@lemmy.today
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      3 个月前

      In the U.S. at least a naked child isn’t obscene. Also if they masturbate on camera the police and courts absolutely can still view it.

      • merc@sh.itjust.works
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        3 个月前

        If what OP said was actually true, then it would make investigating child porn cases nearly impossible. Someone does have to watch the footage to determine if a crime was committed, and often the people who have to do that end up having major mental health issues as a result.

        • brbposting@sh.itjust.works
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          3 个月前

          Someone does have to watch the footage

          Heroes - hope they’re nightmare-proof people

        • DanceMomsSavedMe@lemmy.zip
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          3 个月前

          Wouldn’t a detective or whatever do that though and not the jury? Or would they actually show a Jury that?

          I’m gonna tell them I think they should hang drunk drivers or some other outlandish stuff if they ever put me in a potential jury pool just to make sure I get immediately sent home and never get contacted for it again.

        • Fedizen@lemmy.world
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          3 个月前

          Or it attracts people to these positions that are looking to view these things.

    • WoodScientist@lemmy.world
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      3 个月前

      If a minor is provocatively nude in front of a surveillance camera, could they be prosecuted for production of child pornography?

      • Lemminary@lemmy.world
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        3 个月前

        I wouldn’t be surprised, tbh.

    • Themosthighstrange@lemmy.world
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      3 个月前

      Hence why the nudist colony of all ages can be naked together. Its completely legal

  • UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world
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    3 个月前

    The cops can watch it, copy it, sell it on the dark web, pass it up to their bosses, use the panopticon to find the kid in question, hunt them for sport, black bag them, rape them, force a confession through torture, and then throw the kid into the serial sexual assault wing of the state prison for 30 years.

    • binux@sh.itjust.works
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      3 个月前

      I’m just imagining someone saying this in response to OP’s joke at a party and this is the (natural) response

      • UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world
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        3 个月前

        She’s into it

        • binux@sh.itjust.works
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          3 个月前

          There’s always a 10th dentist

        • JordanZ@lemmy.world
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          3 个月前

          deleted by creator

        • CIA_chatbot@lemmy.world
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          3 个月前

          Something just awoke in her

          • joelfromaus@aussie.zone
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            3 个月前

            Her inner voice donned a police cap.

      • lobut@lemmy.ca
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        3 个月前

        whenever I see the reaction on the girls face I feel embarrassed but when I look at the guy’s face … I don’t know why I can’t help but laugh.

    • JaggedRobotPubes@lemmy.world
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      …which would be a crime so yes not a counterexample but still yes you can of course say those things if you like.

      • ZombiFrancis@sh.itjust.works
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        3 个月前

        The investigation found no evidence of wrongdoing.

      • flandish@lemmy.world
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        3 个月前

        history has shown that there exists a cohort of folks the concept of “crime” does not apply to.

        • halfapage@lemmy.world
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          3 个月前

          deleted by creator

      • GeneralEmergency@lemmy.world
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        3 个月前

        Don’t get in the way of Lemmites trying to be edge lords.

    • potoooooooo 🥔@lemmy.world
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      3 个月前

      But I’m still technically innocent lol

  • abbiistabbii@piefed.blahaj.zone
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    3 个月前

    That’s where your wrong, they hire people to do that.

    • lime!@feddit.nu
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      3 个月前

      commit crimes?

      • abbiistabbii@piefed.blahaj.zone
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        3 个月前

        Ironically, yes!

      • Oisteink@lemmy.world
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        3 个月前

        Not legally, but yeah, you can hire minors to do your crime.

        https://bra.se/english/publications/archive/2025-01-21-children-and-youth-in-criminal-networks

        • lime!@feddit.nu
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          oh i’d rather it not be minors. children have no sense of quality.

          • Oisteink@lemmy.world
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            3 个月前

            In crime quantity can take you pretty far pretty fast

  • But_my_mom_says_im_cool@lemmy.world
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    3 个月前

    If you kill a guy right at daylight savings and go home. You’re not lying when you say you were at home at 2am

    • MajorasTerribleFate@lemmy.zip
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      In the vein of threads about genies that fuck with your wishes:

      If you kill a guy right at daylight savings and go home. You’re not lying when you say you were at home at 2am

      Picked the wrong direction of daylight savings time, so instead of rolling back to 1am it went to 3am.

  • OhStopYellingAtMe@lemmy.world
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    What if you’re an adult but you just strap naked minors to your body?

    Wait, no that would raise other issues I suppose.

    • ayyy@sh.itjust.works
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      They legally can’t stop you if you declare that it’s an official action.

  • homes@piefed.world
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    Funny you mention this. I attended an all guys boarding school in the 90s.

    If there existed WebCams and the Internet, I would be a gay porn billionaire.

    Instead, I just have a lot of very fond of memories, and then knowledge that there is no such thing as a straight man. A little bit of weed, and any guy loves having his asshole licked.

    • surewhynotlem@lemmy.world
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      all guys boarding school

      no such thing as a straight man

      https://catalogofbias.org/biases/selection-bias/

      • homes@piefed.world
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        Meh. Had a gay ol’ time, that’s all I know.

    • Ricky Rigatoni@piefed.zip
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      3 个月前

      The truth is sometimes men are just too horny to care about whose hole or tongue it is.

      • homes@piefed.world
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        Or just too lonely

        I grew up in the 80s and we were promised a future that was gonna be awesome.

        We got a future that fucking sucks

        Just keep taking turns with your work buddy. It’s easy and it feels good.

    • Fedizen@lemmy.world
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      Look its not gay if you say “good game” afterwards. Then its just lads winding down.

  • Sir_Premiumhengst@lemmy.world
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    3 个月前

    Nudity is not pornography… But, say, you were rubbing one out while robbing a store…

    • VeryFrugal@sh.itjust.works
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      3 个月前

      Rubber rubbing robber

    • tias@discuss.tchncs.de
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      3 个月前

      Says who? Certainly not the law.

  • qwertyasdf@feddit.uk
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    deleted by creator

  • muusemuuse@sh.itjust.works
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    3 个月前

    Incorrect. Only poor people cannot watch the footage.

  • db2@lemmy.world
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    3 个月前

    Also known as an Epstein island audition.

  • Rose@piefed.social
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    …dunno how this works in other parts of the world, but here in Europe they’d try you as a minor and seal the evidence - which they’d do whether you’d be naked in security footage or not. It just doesn’t matter, they’d examine the evidence as a part of the proceedings nonetheless!

  • GhostFace@lemmy.today
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    You can do a lot of things as a minor as long as you keep receipts. And I guess as long as they’re someone who isn’t wealthy.

  • Prunebutt@slrpnk.net
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    Just claim that it’s actually generated by Grok! /j

  • TrackinDaKraken@lemmy.world
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    I don’t think this is explicitly illegal anywhere, but related laws can be interpreted to make it so. Judges have a LOT of leeway in this area, so much so, the “kid” could be a legal adult, and also fully dressed.

  • Björn@swg-empire.de
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    In civilised countries minors can’t commit crimes anyways.

    • cattywampas@lemmy.world
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      What does this mean

      • ImgurRefugee114@reddthat.com
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        In civilizated countries, it’s illegal for children to commit crimes, so they can’t.

      • lime!@feddit.nu
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        in civilised countries children can’t commit crimes. anything and everything they do is automatically legal.

      • ElectricVocalist@jlai.lu
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        deleted by creator

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